Orange Mud Cups

This week I had a go at combining two of my favourite cakes, the chocolate brownie and the lemon drizzle. Only, y'know, with orange because then it would be chocolate orange which is probably better than chocolate lemon. Anyway, the results were astonishing.


YOU WILL NEED
(makes 16 cupcakes)
185g butter
185g dark chocolate
3 eggs
275g golden caster sugar
1 medium-large orange
85g plain flour
40g cocoa powder
6 tablespoons icing sugar


THE METHOD

# Put a small pan of water on to boil, and put a bowl on top. Make sure the bowl doesn't touch the water. Chop up butter and chocolate and melt them together in the bowl. Keep stirring and don't let it burn. That would be horrible. When it's all blended, take it off the stove.



# Turn your oven to Gas 4, 177c, 350f.

# Crack eggs into a large mixing bowl and pour sugar on top. Beat with an electric whisk for AGES. It does take ages. If you can do it with one of them olde fashioned acoustic whisks, then I commend your wrist action.
Whip until the mixture is really thick like an amazing custard.

# Grate the zest of your orange. Put about a quarter of it aside for later, stir the rest into the melty chocolate butter, which should be quite cool now.



# Pour melty chocolate orange butter into the egg mousse and use a spatula to fold it in. Keep stirring gently until it is well blended and you can no longer resist eating some.

# Sift flour and cocoa powder into the mix and stir again until it is looking like a cake batter.



# Set out a cupcake tray with paper cases and spoon about a tablespoon and a half of mixture into each. The cakes are going to rise quite dramatically in the oven, but will shrink again, so be generous. Pop in the oven for 15-20 minutes

(At this point I would like to say that doing them as cupcakes was a bit of a mistake on my part. What would work really well is greasing 8 or so ramekins with butter, splitting the mixture between them, and baking for about 30 minutes.)

# While the cakes are baking, juice your orange and put that bit of left over zest in it. Sift in the icing sugar and dissolve it until you have a syrup.

# Test if cakes are done. They should be reasonably solid around the edges and have a crispy brownie-like crust, but very squishy if you poke the middle. Remove from oven if they're done, give them a couple of extra minutes if not.

# Once they're ready, prick the tops of the cakes with a skewer (or fondue fork) and pour about a tablespoon of the orange syrup onto each cake and leave for a few minutes to absorb. This is sticky and horrible and amazing.





# Eat a cake now if you wish. They are amazing warm, but they do rather fall apart, so get a spoon. If you do the cupcake version, leave them to cool completely and microwave for about 15 seconds to serve. If you do the mini-soufflé version, serve immediately with good vanilla ice-cream and pretend you've made a very posh orange chocolate fondant pudding, when what it really is is a Mud Cup.

Oh, Canada Cupcakes

Those who know me know I'm a bit of a Canadaphile. I choose to express my love in various ways, this time via the medium of cupcakes.


YOU WILL NEED
(makes 12 cupcakes)
200g butter
100g sugar
1 egg
100g self-raising flour
maple syrup
milk
icing sugar
bacon


THE METHOD

# On with the oven! Gas 4, 177c, 350f.

# Soften 100g of butter and beat in sugar until it is creamed. Add egg and mix thoroughly.

# Sift in flour and blend.

# Pour in about 30ml of maple syrup and mix well.

# Add milk or flour to make your mixture a thick batter. When you scoop it with a spoon it should neither run off or stick completely, but rather leisurely drift back to the bowl in a particularly louche manner.



# Grab a cupcake tray and line with cases. Drop about a tablespoon of mixture in each cupcake case.

# Bake! 15-20 minutes should do it. When cakes are risen and are a lovely golden colour, jab one with a skewer. If it comes out clean, cakes are done! If it has a bit of mix on, give them another few minutes.



# Set cakes out to cool while you make icing.

# Chop up 100g of butter and blend with 10ml of maple syrup.

# Add icing sugar until you have a thick paste. Ice the cakes! Eat as much icing as you want, it's incredibly delicious.

# Fry or grill bacon, about three rashers. Then chop up. Decorate lovely cupcakes with bacon.

# If you're special like me, you may wish to cut your bacon into the shape of a moose head. This is labour intensive. If you are a vegetarian, probably don't add the bacon, the maple cupcakes are delicious just as they are.





# Enjoy delicious Canadian cupcakes. Be prepared for people to look at you like you might have gone insane, but then propose marriage when they actually try one.

Dante's Chilli Chocolate Cookies

Chilli and chocolate has long been a flavour combination of choice for sinners and deviants everywhere. In the Special Hell, it is served in cookie form.

YOU WILL NEED
(makes 12 cookies)
100g butter
100g chocolate
75g granulated sugar
50g brown sugar
1 egg
160g plain flour
1 fresh chilli


THE METHOD

# Fire up your fiery pit of Hell (or, oven) to Gas 5, 190c, 375f.
Now would also be a good time to line up your soundtrack. I er, chose The Divine Comedy. Obviously.

# Get your butter and chocolate. Make it good chocolate, you hear? 70% cocoa at the very least. If we're going to do this, let's do it properly. Chop everything up good and proper and put in a bowl over a pan of boiling water. This is the good way of melting things. I suppose you could use a microwave. Y'know, since you're going to hell anyway.

# I took a picture of the melted butter and chocolate because it looks so good I pretty much want to dunk my head in it. I didn't though.



# Mix your two sugars in a big bowl and pour on melted stuff. Stir until mixed smooth. Really, try not to dunk your head in it. It looks amazing and I know you're going to taste it, just don't scoff the whole lot.

# Lightly beat an egg in a cup, then add that too. It gives a nice glossy sheen to your mix and binds it a bit more. STOP EATING IT.

# Sieve in the flour. Mixxy mixxy mix. YAY!! Cookie dough!

# Now for the chilli! Here is a picture of my chilli next to an egg. This should give you a rough idea of how much chilli to use.



You have two options here:

1. The Cerberus Variation
The Third Circle of Hell is home to gluttons who would rather chomp as many cookies as they like without fear of FIRE.
Cut your chilli lengthways and scrape out the seeds. Dispose of seeds. Finely slice chilli and mix into cookie dough.

2. The Minotaur Variation
Come violents, sodomites, and blasphemers of the Seventh Circle, melt your faces and feel the burn.
Cut chilli in half. Only use half a chilli. Finely chop. Leave the seeds in. Mix with dough.

# WASH YOUR HANDS DO IT NOW. It's much easier to do this now than accidentally touch your eye with chillifingers and then when your eye hurts you touch it AGAIN because you're a moron. Wash your hands.

# Roll dough into balls and shape into cookies. They don't spread, so make them the size you want them. Arrange on a baking tray lined with greaseproof paper.



# If you like, decorate the tops of the cookies with chopped chilli. Pop into the FIERY BOWELS for 15 minutes.



# Once cooked, let your cookies rest on the tray for a while before transferring to a wire rack to cool. Store in an airtight container.

# Enjoy your Hellish creations warm with a devilishly delicious cup of hot tea.