Thursday, 14 January 2010

Dante's Chilli Chocolate Cookies

Chilli and chocolate has long been a flavour combination of choice for sinners and deviants everywhere. In the Special Hell, it is served in cookie form.

(makes 12 cookies)
100g butter
100g chocolate
75g granulated sugar
50g brown sugar
1 egg
160g plain flour
1 fresh chilli


# Fire up your fiery pit of Hell (or, oven) to Gas 5, 190c, 375f.
Now would also be a good time to line up your soundtrack. I er, chose The Divine Comedy. Obviously.

# Get your butter and chocolate. Make it good chocolate, you hear? 70% cocoa at the very least. If we're going to do this, let's do it properly. Chop everything up good and proper and put in a bowl over a pan of boiling water. This is the good way of melting things. I suppose you could use a microwave. Y'know, since you're going to hell anyway.

# I took a picture of the melted butter and chocolate because it looks so good I pretty much want to dunk my head in it. I didn't though.

# Mix your two sugars in a big bowl and pour on melted stuff. Stir until mixed smooth. Really, try not to dunk your head in it. It looks amazing and I know you're going to taste it, just don't scoff the whole lot.

# Lightly beat an egg in a cup, then add that too. It gives a nice glossy sheen to your mix and binds it a bit more. STOP EATING IT.

# Sieve in the flour. Mixxy mixxy mix. YAY!! Cookie dough!

# Now for the chilli! Here is a picture of my chilli next to an egg. This should give you a rough idea of how much chilli to use.

You have two options here:

1. The Cerberus Variation
The Third Circle of Hell is home to gluttons who would rather chomp as many cookies as they like without fear of FIRE.
Cut your chilli lengthways and scrape out the seeds. Dispose of seeds. Finely slice chilli and mix into cookie dough.

2. The Minotaur Variation
Come violents, sodomites, and blasphemers of the Seventh Circle, melt your faces and feel the burn.
Cut chilli in half. Only use half a chilli. Finely chop. Leave the seeds in. Mix with dough.

# WASH YOUR HANDS DO IT NOW. It's much easier to do this now than accidentally touch your eye with chillifingers and then when your eye hurts you touch it AGAIN because you're a moron. Wash your hands.

# Roll dough into balls and shape into cookies. They don't spread, so make them the size you want them. Arrange on a baking tray lined with greaseproof paper.

# If you like, decorate the tops of the cookies with chopped chilli. Pop into the FIERY BOWELS for 15 minutes.

# Once cooked, let your cookies rest on the tray for a while before transferring to a wire rack to cool. Store in an airtight container.

# Enjoy your Hellish creations warm with a devilishly delicious cup of hot tea.


Chris Belous said...

O Rose you make me smile. I may have to try this one day, even if it's just to test my self control in front of the giant bowl of melted chocolate.

Anonymous said...

i found you through del's lj, and am linking to your food blog from mine!